Second World

I wouldn't have to whine
if the sun would only shine.
But I guess that it does
pretty much all of the time.
That lucky old sun
just keeps rolling around,
so I guess it's the clouds
that are getting us down.
We think, "If I were homeless,
I could spend more time outside."
Okay, maybe we don't think that,
but we think along those lines.
If only, if only,
we didn't have to strive
as if it's such a chore
just being here, alive.
We're sick of first world stressors
but we don't want third world strife.
Is there a second world that's just right?
Or do we need a second life?

More Less

I need to write more poems again.
I miss the way my brain worked then.
I also need to play more songs,
design more websites, right more wrongs,
find more clients, make more cash,
do more with my craft-stuff stash,
speak more Spanish, read more books,
spend time proving I can cook,
make more friends, call friends more,
do more with my Etsy store,
give my toddler more of me,
be the best that I can be,
yes, the very, very best–
okay, so what should I do less?

Fragile (Song)

My most recent poem, Fragile, keeps coming to my mind, as do the events that the poem is based on. So I set the poem to music:

Fragile

You had fallen down the stairs before,
my rough and tumble child.
And you got up to play some more.
You only had a little while.
I have brushed tears off your cheeks
and gravel from your knees.
But all our strength is still too weak
for this day's injury.

Aren't we all so fragile?
How fast we fall,
how carefully we must be handled.
How much we can take,
how suddenly we break…
Oh, how it aches to be this fragile.

You had fallen out of bounds before
with your rough and tumble heart.
But it wouldn't happen again, you swore.
When you felt that burning spark,
you brushed it off as quick as tears
so that you would be fine.
But all our strength is still too weak
to keep our strength in line.

Aren't we all so fragile?
How fast we fall,
how carefully we must be handled.
How much we can take,
how suddenly we break…
Oh, how it aches to be this fragile.

Oh God, take the pressure inside.
I am made of glass. I have no place to hide.
Can I ask, why did you make me so fragile?
Is that something you can handle?

Aren't we all so fragile?
How fast we fall,
how carefully we must be handled.
How much we can take,
how suddenly we break…
Oh, how it aches to be this fragile.

It Would Have Been Easy

If I could have only seen
exactly what this year would bring
this would have been easy.
I could have locked myself behind a door
and written every poem beforehand.
It would have been easy.

But this hasn't been easy.
Have you seen how fast time passes?
And so now we have these glasses
but we still don't see twenty-twenty.
No, this hasn't been easy,
A year ago today
I sat just twenty paces away.
So I might not have gone far, but I have plenty.

If I could have known
what I would feel inside each poem
it would have been easy.
It would have felt more like a ride
and less like a black diamond
and it would have been easy.

If I had written every poem this past year
to publish them in the coming one,
I could have spaced them all out perfectly
but they never would have gotten done.
It would be just another idea I had
that never went either well or bad,
but only stale like a passing fad.
But it would have been easy.

And what if I had said "Enough!
Does anyone even read this stuff?"
It would have been easy.
But I had things to write about
just to breathe and get them out
because it wasn't easy.

No, this hasn't been easy.
Have you seen how fast time passes?
And so now we have these glasses
but we still don't see twenty-twenty.
No, this hasn't been easy,
A year ago today
I sat just twenty paces away.
So I might not have gone far, but I've done plenty.

To Do Right

He had dreams, and not just at night,
and he also knew what he had to do.
And he knew he'd have to sacrifice,
either way that he would choose.
And in the end he chose to do right
and lay his dreams aside.

But it wasn't the end;
it was only for a time.
Now he's dreaming again
but he still has to decide
how to do right.

The Truth

I don't want to hear what I want to hear.
I'm not okay with "everything's fine."
I want to know the truth.
When you say "don't worry" I'm worried.
I know we can't all have our way all the time.
I want to know the truth.

I'm strong enough to hear the truth,
and if I'm not than I'll lean on you,
because I'll know you're brave
if you're strong enough to say it.

Your Day

Your grandparents are in town
Your hoping gravity will pull down
all the wrinkles from your graduation gown
in time for your speech tonight.

And regardless of how long you've known this day was on its way,
you still cannot believe that its today.
Your heart is beating harder than it has in a long time
and you know today is your day to shine.

All your friends are here
and your mom can't hold her tears.
The ceremony is drawing near
and you wonder what your love is thinking now.

And regardless of how long you've known this day was on its way,
you still cannot believe that its today.
Your heart is beating harder than it has in a long time
and you know today is your day to shine.

Some might call this pressure, but it's pain.
You rock back and forth like you're insane
and your husband says the doctor's on his way
and that you're doing great.

And regardless of how long you've known this day was on its way,
you still cannot believe that its today.
Your heart is beating harder than it has in a long time
and you know today is your day to shine.

Months of pain up to your chest.
You know you've given it your best.
And you're sure it's time to rest,
but what will it feel like?

And regardless of how long you've known this day was on its way,
you still cannot believe that its today.
Your heart is beating harder than it has in a long time
and you know today is your day to shine.

Procrastinator

There are some things on your list that you should just do "later."
And by the time you get to them, they'll be unnecessary.
And that's one of the benefits of being a procrastinator.
It's amazing what can happen while you tarry.

But That's Not What I Said

Why are you getting all defensive

You think that I'm on the offensive.

But that's not what I said.

You think that I am blaming you

that all our weekend plans fell through.

But that's not what I said.

You think that I don't like to wait

and that I think you're kinda late.

But that's not what I said.

You 'pologize for what you wear,

assume that I don't like your hair,

but that's not what I said.

There you go, do it by yourself,

you think that I don't want to help.

But that's not what I said.

And when I turn and walk away

you think I'm having a bad day.

But that's not what I said.

You think it's not my favorite date

when I don't touch what's on my plate.

But that's not what I said.

You say "Well here is the receipt,"

as if the gift is not that neat.

But that's not what I said.

It seems like you're always assuming.

You act like some big news is looming.

But that's not what I said.

Sometimes you look and sigh at me

like I won't ever let you be.

But that's not what I said.

You know that's not what I said,

and if my mind could be read,

oh you'd know, you know.

But that's not what I said.

My Sign

Hung on my neck, like a noose but loose,

is a sign that reads "I have no excuse.

Yet my life is still messy and my brain feels like toast. 

It's my own imperfection that drags me down most."

(In response to this great article.)

Make Sense

It was all gonna make sense.
It was all gonna make sense.
It was all gonna make sense
when your answer was gonna be yes.

Pay For My Past

Balancing the budget,
sorting out the costs,
looking for a way to make
more profits to each loss.

This would be so much easier if I didn't have to pay for my past.
Forgive me, please forgive me, I'd like to ask.

You told me so, you told me.
You knew it all along.
We know the pain I caused you.
I know I've done you wrong.

This would be so much easier if I didn't have to pay for my past.
Forgive me, please forgive me. That's all I ask.

I've wasted precious time,
been hasty with precious people,
and done some very stupid things,
though most of them were legal.

And it would be so much easier if I didn't have to pay for my past.
Forgive me, please forgive me. If you want to receive, just ask.

My Brain

My brain can fly,
but it often flits.
And when it runs,
it skips and trips.

Make Up Your Head

The decisions you have to make today–
if you could, what would you pay
to have someone to make them for you?
You can get a maid to make your bed,
but they can not make up your head,
so that is something you will have to do.

Pain

I guess the good thing about feeling this way,
is that I know how you hurt and so I can relate.
But, there's that good thing, so it's not the same.
For you, there's no point of pain day after day.

The Worst Feeling Of All

When you feel worse when you thought you'd feel better–
that's the worst feeling of all.
It's when you close your eyes, spread your arms to fly,
that you can't break your own fall.

When I Lose All Hope In Humanity

When I lose all hope in humanity,
I'm glad I'm not a humanist.
Because then I'd be losing my religion,
and that would be a big decision.
When I lose all hope in humanity,
I feel more human and humanitarian.
Humans are stupid and they'll prove that it's true.
But I know who I am and what I've got to do.

To Make You Get Your Story Straight

There is nothing like your very own child to make you get your story straight.
Those questions towards the base of your brain awake when they would rather wait.
The whole world asks these questions, clamoring to make their answers known.
And suddenly you have to answer when they're asked by one you call your own.

I Am a Woman Full

I am a woman full of
agonizing empathy and
welling convictions,
and I don't know what to say or do.